let down
Wednesday, December 28, 2011 Two days before Christmas I sent a completed draft of my novel to my agent. I've been working on this book for more than three years, and I have come to love it -- not just the finished product (although I do rather like it) but the process of writing this particular book. In the end, I became obsessed with it. I did almost nothing but work on it. Okay, I snuck online for Christmas shopping, but that was pretty much it. Christmas shopping and writing Perfect Red. I stopped talking to people, stopped exercising, stopped eating anything that couldn't be eaten at my desk. Worst of all was the way I roped my 15-year-old into my craziness. In a desperate effort to re-jig the very last pages of the book, I bribed her to read the entire manuscript and help me sort out the ending. She's a very good reader and a very good writer, and having her to bat ideas around with was a godsend.
So on the appointed day, I was done. I hit send. And even though I know my agent can't read it right away, it was off my desk. I was happy.
And then I was sad. I missed my book. I missed working on it. I missed the obsession. I felt exhausted, let down, bereft. My house and my world seemed suddenly empty. I want my book back, just so I can work on it. There's nothing particularly I feel the need to change. I just want it back.
But, alas, we make books so that they'll leave us, just like children, and my book is gone.
If nothing else, it reminds me that the real thrill of writing is the writing.
Reader Comments (2)
Congratulations and I'm sorry. Congratulations that you finally finished the book and I'm sorry for the sadness that you're feeling right now.. -Sarah-
Ah...I have been wondering where you were hiding! Can't wait to read the new novel...and if you need additional early readers, you know Houston is a good place to find them!